An Old Part of Me is Dying

An Old Part of Me is Dying

I found out little over a week ago that I have cancer. It's a rare form of cancer that fortunately can be removed through surgery with likely no need for chemotherapy. This cancer grows roots into your skin like a tree. The thing is that I've had it for over four years. I don't know how deep it has grown but something tells me this is not the end of my life, but rather a huge turning point.

After the call with the doctor I began feeling sad and then angry. Sad because of what I could "lose" if I die and angry because of all the time I've spent worrying about things and feeling anxiety over things that doesn't matter. Then I thought, I could have had these thoughts before. Why do they matter now? Then it hit me, it's not the thought, it's the feeling. When it's painstakingly clear that you might die waaaayyyy before you thought you would, certain things just don't matter anymore. You gain perspective on life because of how you feel when you stack things next to each other.

I don't know if I would have had this insight if hadn't been given this diagnosis so in a strange twist of perspective I'm grateful that this is happening. Sometimes it hurts to grow and transform.

To you I say this. Adversity comes for every man and woman. How you respond to it means everything. Life is a journey, not a destination. Respect the process and enjoy the ride no matter what comes your way.

This is the way.
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